Washed Up Is The New Black

How to handle day drinking into night drinking post college.

There's a 1:15pm Red Sox game on a Saturday and thinking about the amount of alcohol you are about to consume already makes you want to play in traffic. Brunch drinks, crushing beers at the game, and fireball shots after a Red Sox win is a recipe for disaster. Yes, we were all 18-22 at college parties ripping shots of warm, flavorless Smirnoff and shot gunning Busch Lattes for months with no water besides the drop you drank to swallow your adderall, but there comes a time in life when you legit "can't hang," and that's where I come into to save the day: 1. EAT FOOD (The excitement of day drinking with your besties is overwhelming so we tend to miss out on meals or think drinking is enough calories for the day.. Well get a clue because if you want to make it to the finish line without your face in a toilet eat up!) 2. START OFF WITH A BEER (If your running the Boston marathon you don't start off by sprinting, so no need for fireball shots at 10am) 3. PACE YOURSELF (No one wants to be the first person to blackout puking before the first pitch is thrown so put down the vodka sodas and grab a bud light) 4. DRINK WATER (Legit chug that shit, forget about saving the fish drown yourself in bottles of it) 5. FAKE SHOTS ARE KEY (Yes that's what I said fake shots. Dump it on the floor, pour it in someone else's drink, pretend to spill it. All is fair in love and war) My boyfriends friends on numerous occasions have said to him "she can hang," that statement is 110% false. I just have learned to drink water with ice in red solo cups (looks like a mixy), drop shots on the floor (people spill drinks all the time), or when they hand you a bottle to take a shot just fake take it. Ok.. yes, this is probably considered cheating but we all got drunk, I'm just the ONLY smart one not puking out the train window, sleeping with my head hanging in the toilet, peeing my bed, or wanting to jump off a bridge the next day because my hangover is so bad. * *Hangovers last a lifetime when your washed up so unless you want to take the next 2-3 days off work, take my advice. #FakeShotsForLife

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